is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize