So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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