Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
