Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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