'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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