there was a trapeze. enough said
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
