Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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