I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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