Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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