this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize