At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
