Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
