If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
