The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
