so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
