That's when you crack a 10am beer
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
