you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
