My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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