I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
