Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize