Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
