I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
