You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
