My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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