my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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