and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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