I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
