no, he came in my armpit
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
