You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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