garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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