No stitches, just platelets and will power
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
