Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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