i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
