my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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