did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
