Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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