I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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