she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
