I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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