i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my sisters under your porch take her home
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize