Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
