just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
