1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
