I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
