Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
