Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
