so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's even glitter on my cock...
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