Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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