kristin has been a bad kristin
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
