I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
