Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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