i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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