The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
