is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
