I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
