Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
