Ambien. No doubt about it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We are all done wearing pants today
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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