Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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