what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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