was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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