we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
