So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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