So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This baby is an asshole
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
