ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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