If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
